It's better to give me some more "crazy racing" and "love call transfer". I want both the first and second parts. The more detailed the better
4 thoughts on “Crazy stone classic lines (to be complete) the more the better 100 points”
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Crazy car racing
Li Fara, a unscrupulous profiteer, imitated Mr. hou to advertise: "Superman, no matter what."
when the stupid thief promised that the profiteer would kill the fat woman, he promised: "as long as there is speed and strength, it is no problem to surpass her."
the brother-in-law of the stupid thief demonstrates to the timid brother-in-law how to kill people: "I want you to see what it means to do and love."
the brother-in-law of the stupid thieves said to the timid brother-in-law: "if you dare not marry my sister, I will not marry your sister. Anyway, your sister's belly has made me big."
when he realized that the employer was originally a husband and wife, the stupid thief sighed and said, "you and I killed you. Marriage is the tomb of love."
Huang Bo can't do without the classic line: "copy." "What is copy?" "Coffee -- coffee!"
when the stupid thieves saw the taxis they were trading with waiting for the red light, their brother-in-law said: "the underworld is also waiting for the red light." the brother-in-law said: "they are professional."
finally, they caught the "fat woman" in the taxi. The brother-in-law said with a guilty conscience: "we will kill ourselves if we call ourselves unjust." My brother-in-law said solemnly, "where can I get the output without courage?"
the brother-in-law of the stupid thief said to his brother-in-law: how can you find someone when you burn that photo! My brother-in-law said: This is called a major. Besides, such a fat woman can be recognized by her
the second time when my brother-in-law burned the photos, he said: Why did you burn the photos?? My brother-in-law replied: no burning is not professional
the two thieves decided to become thieves. My brother-in-law reminded my brother-in-law: "keep your voice down. You thought you were a killer. Now we have changed our profession. We are thieves."
Xu Zheng said to the customer: "smoking is not allowed here. This is a high-end community" (actually, it is a high-end cemetery).
Xu Zheng recommended the cemetery: "underground CBD, the back garden of life! Such good service, I work here every day, and I can't wait to give myself a complete set! In addition, we also have special services for 18 miles."
Xu Zheng said, "we have a duplex structure." Wang Bo said, "you also have a duplex structure." Xu Zheng said, "yes, there is another floor under the ground!"
the black boss said to the hotel receptionist: help me check again. Miss a said: "I've checked all the zoom (room) and there is no one. Our hotel is the interneshe nou (). Miss B really can't stand it. She is furious and yells at the top of her voice: I've told you many times, but there is no room. We are a five-star hotel!?!"
Xu Zheng scolded the saleswoman, "what are you doing? Don't mourn behind me any more. How about making a cup of coffee?"
two stupid thieves went to the fat mother-in-law's house to collect the stolen goods. My brother-in-law was envious of the rich mother-in-law's house. My brother-in-law said to my brother-in-law, "sit well, sit well, it's a bit of a city government!"
when two stupid thieves saw that jiukong killed his wife by mistake, they said, "Niu B" "I'm a professional killer. You're too cruel!"
gangster a tasted the drug (actually the ashes) and thought it was not a taste. Gangster B tasted it and found it was not a taste. Taxi driver Ning Hao was really happy: "are your heads squeezed by the door frame?" if Ning Hao was tied up in the back compartment of the taxi
when the gang leader loses his money and his "ashes" (mistaken for drugs): "the local gang is too impolite."
love call transfer
men and women meet for dinner in a restaurant
female: Why did the steamed bass get divorced
male: Guozhen sweet potato is boring to me.
female: how can a man feel energetic when he fried shrimp balls with Nestle pineapples?
male: she really can't let me bear it any more when he opened a Baozhi Zhudong goat.
female: is it the responsibility of a man to have a yellow baby pigeon with the fragrance of the signboard?
male: I've tried my best to make a Japanese golden mushroom beef roll.
female: it's a woman's fault to have a Fried Bun.
male: listen to it twice Coca Cola actually I don't mean that.
female: enough, that's it. Men are like this.
men and women are on the street
male: "I have something to tell you clearly."
female: "what's the matter?"
male: "I was divorced."
female: "how many women have you dated since you divorced?"
male: "you are the first."
female: "(ecstasy) wow, sofa, sofa, I took your sofa."
men and women at home
men: "let's divorce."
female: "then give me a reason."
male: "you have worn a purple sweater for several years, and you eat noodles every day with sound."
female: "that's the reason? How can I explain it to my parents, relatives and friends?"
male: "otherwise we will not leave."
female: "if you don't leave, you must give reasons."
the man thinks that the woman can't stand it and wants to leave. Before leaving, the woman says that she will give you another chance to take a test
female: "I'll give you a question. A man and a woman are stranded on a desert island. Now there is only one boat that can escape. A, the one who killed the woman will leave. B, neither of them will leave. Continue to be sweet and sweet. C, leave the woman alone. D, leave the woman alone. D, leave the woman alone."
male: "I choose C."
female: "beast!"
male: "then I choose A."
female: "I'm not even as good as animals."
male: "then I'll choose B."
female: "the beast among the beasts."
male: "I choose D."
female: "not only are they animals, but they are also stupid."
when men and women look at the house, they find that Huang Jianxiang is also at the sales office
female: "Jianxiang, are you in the entertainment or sports circle now?"
Huang Jianxiang: "I don't know which circle I belong to."
when men and women meet, men drive women to the door
male: "I'll take you up."
female: "you send me, oh, you want to sleep with me."
man: "I don't have one. Why don't we go somewhere else?"
female: "if the first move doesn't work, take the second one. This is a trick men usually use to seduce women."
male: "I don't have any."
female: "then why do you chew gum so much? Just now I asked myself if there was body odor under your armpits."
male: "I really don't have it."
female: "don't you want to sleep with me?"
male: "no one wants to have sex with you. Oh, no, no, I mean, I don't want to...
female:" you really don't want to have sex with me! "
the man finally realized that he wanted to return to his divorced wife, but he found that there was already a man in the family. The ex-wife introduced him:
female: "this is my husband."
man 1: "Oh."
female: "this is my ex husband I told you about."
man 2: "elder, elder, I have been looking up to you for a long time."
a man and a woman are dating. Because the woman is pregnant, but the father of the child runs away. The woman wants to help the child find a father, so she wants to go to bed with the man. She tries to be strong in the kitchen, but accidentally, the woman falls, so she goes to the hospital with the man
female doctor: "there is no problem for adults and children in the stomach."
male: "son, we, we have no relationship. Oh, no, she hasn't told me yet."
female doctor: "I don't care about you."
male: "no, no..."
female doctor: "you don't need to explain."
a criminal man makes a phone call, and when he is using his mobile phone, he thinks about it again. He takes out a fixed phone from his arms and says, "I say patriot, no, no, I don't mean patriot MP3, it's the Scud missile. If I wear my underwear outside, it's faster than it, I'm Superman."
when the police caught him, he said impatiently: "I just don't have underwear to wear today."
when men and women are dating, women say that let's go straight to the subject and look at the house
sales lady: "let's book the house like this."
female: "don't worry. I have to come at least twice. Once at night to see if the lighting environment is good, and once in rainy days to see how waterproof it is."
female: "buying a house is like looking for a man. For the first time, you can't see anything wrong."
men and women date at a woman's house. The woman has a big Shapi dog in her house
male: "you don't need to prepare too much food."
female: "it doesn't matter. It's not much. If you're hungry, you can put some food on the table."
the man takes it and eats it. The dog beside him drools while watching
male: "this is not for dogs, this is for people."
the man tried to put it on the dog's mouth, then quickly took it away and teased the dog
the dog Wunai looked at the master in the kitchen. It was so pitiful
the man didn't realize that he had eaten all the dog food until he was the last one
spitting...
men and women are dating in restaurants, and women are policemen
male: "do you have a pistol?"
female: "No."
man: "do you have handcuffs?"
female: "take it with you."
male: "let me have fun. I haven't seen it yet."
female: "you are sick."
male: "let's handcuff one hand. It's fun."
after handcuffing, the female police found a fugitive. The man has been dragged away by the woman before he reacts. The two men ran frantically, handcuffed with one hand. Later, the man couldn't run and was dragged to the ground
the waiter is chasing after me
waiter: "brother, it's not worth living for this meal."
love call transfer 2
1. Angel --- Huang Bo (with a Shandong accent falling from the sky)
Nie Bing: who are you
Huang: This is angel. Angel. It is a series of
Nie Bing: Shandong angels
Huang: sorry, it's just like learning a foreign language. It's wrong to find a teacher at the beginning
Huang: it's not easy for me to come down. I have to find some delicious food quickly. Seven ~ er, yes, yes, yes, yes, there is a delicious food called "Kaifeng food" in your place. It's not bad. HA
Nie Bing: "Kaifeng food"
Huang: it's a white haired old man's advertisement for "KFC"
2. Gu Juji plays
I don't sell insurance. I provide insurance services.
insurance is related to your happiness in life. Happiness can't be bought and sold.
suits and shoes seem noble.
bowing and bowing almost kneeling.
the weekly assessment makes people collapse.
it's difficult for family members to meet on New Year's holidays.
3. Xu Lang plays
(dialogue between Xu Lang and Gu Juji)
Gu: have you done any more recently
Xu: filming Huang Feihong
Gu: Oh, it's a remake
Xu: Episode 8
Gu: Episode 8! You play Huang Feihong in it
Xu: I play pork Rong
in our line of work
I get up earlier than chickens
I sleep later than ghosts
I work harder than cows
I eat worse than pigs
4. What does Su Youpeng do in
? I can do anything, judge sister
I am a professional player. I have participated in the super male, good male, real male, dancing male, Xingguang Avenue, dancing miracle dance forest conference, and the famous new anchor of dancing is shining for the first time
Su: Wow, the horizontal bars are all on the road when the Olympic Games come
Nie Bing: that's not the horizontal bar, it's for height restriction
5. Tong Dawei plays the role of
(Tong Dawei rides a small wheel and Nie Bing drives around him, so he says...)
dare to surpass you? Don't run
er, you think you have a car? I used to drive a Hummer, and my wheels are more expensive than yours
6. Fan Wei plays the role (his speech is characterized by a stuttering voice stretching ~ dragging)
classic line: give me 10... 10 to 5 minutes
fan: I have got the credit card of the overseas students
Nie Bing: international student? You
fan: take an orange and run ~ knowledge is power ~
my principle is -
I will give gold to whoever gives me face.
pretend to be angry and continue to ~ carry on the romance to the end
fan: this store is yours too. (jewelry store)
Nie Bing: are you going to hire me as the manager here
fan: the manager can only sell it, and the boss's wife can wear it
this is yours, too. (puts the bank card in Nie Bing's hand) spend as much as you want
Nie Bing: Yes
fan: do you want to know the amount of money here? (referring to bank cards)
Nie Bing: I want to know your age
fan: Thirty two
Nie Bing: This is all
fan:... Part ~
Nie Bing: you should understand what I mean
fan: I understand. I chased and chased with Cupid's love arrow, and you flew and flew in a bulletproof vest
Nie Bing: so, don't be too kind to me. I don't have any feelings
fan: it doesn't matter. Feel it slowly. You will feel it
Nie Bing: what about the foundation? Where is our foundation
fan: people are afraid of being famous, pigs are afraid of being strong, men are afraid of climbing without money, and women are afraid of being fat. I have money and you are not fat. This is the biggest foundation
Nie Bing: really
fan: I thought you only cared about the amount of money in your card, but you cared about my age
Nie Bing: you shouldn't have come to me
fan: the vast sea of people is a weed. Why don't you find flowers
7. Lu Yi plays
what age is it now? Marriage is free and men and women are equal. Why should a man pay alimony
Why did you get married? Want a man to keep a long-term meal ticket? What is the difference between this and long-term prostitution
8. Nie yuan plays the role of
as long as you keep your back straight, people will have to get down when they see you
9. Deng Chao plays the role of
it's not news that pigs eat people these days, but it's news that they have been married for 10 years without divorce
it is better to be arrogant and moldy than humble in love
waiter, give me two Jin of true love and take it out to feed the dog
Deng: marriage is the tomb of love
Nie Bing: if there is no marriage, there is no place to die
now even public toilets are on the market. The concept is --- national chain, lax
this guy has to scold you.
you --
incomplete evolution of life,
aliens with genetic mutations,
murderers of septic tank clogging,
chimpanzees with Yin and yang imbalance,
superindividuals living with cockroaches,
half plants with decaying vitality,
dinosaurs that degenerate three times a day,
the raw materials of the universe that are repeatedly destroyed,
even the amoeba protozoa can't survive on the keyboard you touch,
the spitting water is 100 times more deadly than SARS,
as long as you look up, the ozone layer will break.
even throwing it into the sun is not environmentally friendly.
how far you think, how far you go!
In the stone
on the cable car, Xie Xiaomeng said to the beautiful woman:
"whenever I look at this city from this perspective, I strongly feel that the city is the mother, and we live in her womb..."
Secretary Qin said with derision:
"old Xie, I haven't been paid for eight months, and it's been a success!"
"if I were to tell you, I would tell you to be laid off earlier. This is a good deed. You should die early and be reborn early."
after the crash, Secretary Qin said:
"dog day, hi-tech, driverless! Don't touch me if you don't see it. Don't drive if you can't!"
the robber Mike appeared in the mainland, and he was heroic and valiant. But when he was fighting, the box was abducted, and the classic line "top your lungs" was first released
on the way to the hotel to open a room for the three thieves, brother Dao said:
"I said that your clothes here are full of flowers. Do you want to follow the sexy route? When you first started out, you should keep a low profile and keep a low profile!"
in the toilet, Xiao Jun sits singing. After leaving, Sanbao came in to wipe the soiled toilet - this is also one of the mattresses. After that, there was another time when Xiaojun left a coke ring and was found by Sanbao. Knowing that he was cheated because of his reason, he chased him up and beat him
"the first shit in 2002 was a little later than that of Israel, and the second shit in 2003, I don't know when it can be earlier..."
brother Dao upholds justice by himself, regardless of the lawyer, and beat Xie Xiaomeng with a toilet plug. Feicui will be beaten whether it is true or false in Xie Xiaomeng's mouth. Brother Dao:
"you insult my personality, and you insult my IQ!"
top your lungs
don't touch me
this profiteer
is it a public toilet? Come and go if you want
What's the matter with Fei
you insult my personality, and you insult my IQ
your mother
this is purely a moral issue
I don't even talk about you
quality, quality
keep a low profile.
Whenever I look at this city from this perspective, I feel strongly that the city is the mother, and we are living in her womb... "
Secretary Qin laughingly said:
" Lao Xie, I haven't been paid for eight months, and it's been very impressive! "
" if I were to tell you, I would tell you to be laid off earlier. This is a good deed. You should die early and be reborn early. "
after the crash, Secretary Qin:
" dog day, hi-tech, driverless! Don't touch me. Don't open it if you can't! "
the robber Mike appeared in the mainland. He was heroic and valiant, but when he was fighting, the box was abducted. The classic line" top your lungs "was first released.
on the way to the hotel for the three thieves, brother Dao:
" I said that the clothes inside you are colorful, so you should take the sexual route? When you first start your career, keep a low profile, keep a low profile! "
in the toilet, Xiao Jun sits inside and sings songs. After leaving, Sanbao comes in to wipe the soiled toilet - this is also one of the mattresses. After that, there was another time when Xiao Jun left a coke ring and was found by Sanbao. Knowing that he was cheated because of his reason, he chased him and beat him up!
" the first shit in 2002 was a little later than the previous one, and the second shit in 2003, I don't know when it can be earlier... "
brother Dao upholds justice by himself when the lawyer doesn't care. He beat Xie Xiaomeng with a toilet plug. Feicui will be beaten whether it is true or false in Xie Xiaomeng's mouth. Brother Dao:
" you insult my personality and you insult my IQ! "
hold your lung!
don't touch me!!
are you a profiteer!
are you in a public toilet? Come and go if you want to!
What's the matter with you?
you insult my personality and you insult my IQ!
your mother!
this is purely a moral issue.
I don't even talk about you.
quality, quality!
No, I haven't. I haven't found a few